Nietzsche Market

Ok, here it is - it's what you've all been waiting for! Numbers have been crunched, demographic regions explored, surveys, interviews, interrogations - you name it - it's all been done and the final results have been procured and prepared for you on a silver platter. The long awaited and much debated list of the Top Ten Most Ironic Things in Nippon (according to me anyway). But before I start, let me just say that my desire to report here is not formed out of anger, hatred or resentment for local insanity, but rather a desire to share the wonders of cross cultural exchange. No country is without it's fair share of ironies - my peaceful aim is to explore and enjoy the novelty of local stupidity.

Here they are:

Irony No. 10: Inconvenience Store

If an item should become popular to any extent, it is discontinued.

Irony No. 9: Baa Baa Black-listed Sheep

Lamb stinks but Natto is OK.
(For those less knowledgeable, Natto is a local dish of fermented beans in slime - and it smells like dirty old socks)

Irony No. 8: Bargain Basement

Buy one for $1 or three for.....$3
(Bulk buyers beware!)

Irony No.7: Up-Skirts

Highschool girls wear their school skirts as short as they possibly can but then cover their asses with their hand when walking upstairs. I'm confused: you want me to look but you don't want me to look???

Irony No.6: White Spot Special

Chicken breast meat is by far the cheapest cut.
(All the fatty bits cost more)(Ahhh...fatty bits)

Irony No.5: Turned Tables

A melon costs $120.
A DVD player costs $39.95

(A kilo of marbled beef costs more than my first car did)

Irony No. 4: Double Standards

It is socially innapropriate to eat on the street. However, you may by all means conjure up the thickest, greenest, most vile globule of respiratory butter you can muster and hurl it on the footpath at will, regardless of gender, age or social standing.

Irony No.3: Automatic Teller Madness

ATMs close on public holidays
(well, not so much these days, but they used to)

Irony No.2: Mochi Botchi

The substance known as Mochi (glutenous rice cake) is eaten traditionally on New Year's Day and is said to aid in digestion and extend one's life. Ironically, due to it's stretchy, blobby nature, it gets caught in the throats of old people and kills many each year.

Irony No. 1: Nozone

The use of sunscreen is prohibited in public swimming pools.
(Having clean water outweighs the need for prevention of skin cancer)


So there you have it. I thought of many others but they didn't make the cut. No doubt there are many more. If you can think you can top these, please post.