For Sale

Top-notch audio sound card going cheap. Get in fast before this one goes! Pre-loved, high quality audio interface in good working order. Noted to occasionally emit a strange nappy odour and is riddled with dremel dust, but otherwise perfect. This bargain unit also comes with a free Star Wars signature Japanese fan (NB: not official Lucas Film Merchandise).

Also up for grabs: this quality Alesis compressor in perfect working order. Mechanically sound with only a few minor scratches (used extensively as a step-up to change light bulbs. Also used to prop up the broken kitchen table leg for six months. Used once or twice as a lasagne baking tray (with careful removal and replacement of electronic innards). Occasional usage as a ball marker on the golf course), but otherwise in good shape. Will sell to the highest bidder - just as soon as we have a chance to go and buy a real plug for the bathtub.

Hong Kong

A pleasant time was had by all in Hongas last week. Our four day tour consisted of eating, sightseeing on the Japanese tour bus, eating some more, shopping for cheap goodies, eating yet again, attending a friend's wedding followed lastly by a series of restaurant stops that involed a lot of eating. What can I say - the food was awsome: sweet & sour pork buns for breakfast (not sticky buns), Peking Duck, Fly Ly (also known as fried rice in the West), Yum Cha, a Chinese banquet at the wedding, and I even gave shark fin soup a bash for the first time (Even though it's evil. No wonder they come and eat humans at the beach from time to time - it helps keep the score even). The soup was ok - nothing special in my opinion. These pics by the way are subsititues as my digital camera died a few months back and I am still in mourning and have not yet replaced it. Yasumi's mum took plenty of pics with her digicam however, copying the files onto a blank CD is rocket science to her thus I must wait until my next sojourn out to Chiba before I can extract that touristy collection of binary digits from her digital image capturing device.

The highlight of all the eating was the wedding banquet. In fact it was my first banquet ever and it was killer. Twelve servings in all and what a treat they were. The first thing that came out though was a roasted whole baby pig, head and all! I was a bit scared when I first saw it, but then I realized that it was in fact just the skin of the beast - a skin that was roasted to golden perfection, crispy and crackly yet succulent and ever so fatty tasty. Yum yum pig's bum! The pig's head was the first head on the table for the evening but ceratinly not the last. Soon after came a big fish with the head severed and placed facing the ceiling. The locals began arguing heatedly over who deserved to consume the aquatic face. It was finally decided that the most senior male at the table would have the honour, and he proceeded to pluck out the roasted eyes and devour in delight. The next head to rotate around the Lazy Suzan was that of a chicken. Fortunately its eyes had been closed and was not staring at me whilst I ate it's crispy flesh. And for some unusual reason, no one put their hands up for the chicken head. Finally, as previously stated, it was the fin, not the head of the shark that was to represent oceanic predators for the evening.

Pictured right is a small boat that we rode on to go and have a look at the people that live on the water in makeshift houseboats. Apparently there are no fees or anything you need to pay to the government if you live on the water which makes for a less expensive lifestyle. Rent is very high in Hong Kong in comparison to the average person's monthly income. Land is scarce to say the least. I was warned of Japan being a concrete jungle before I came here but Hong Kong is THE concrete jungle. Just about every square metre of land in the city has concrete on it and it's really hard to find exposed soil. And the crowds never go home. It's a very full-on place and I think it would be a real challenge living there. When I think of Blade Runner I think of Hong Kong - busy, crowded, a bit smelly and very interesting.

Aside from all the excellent food, the highlight of the tour was the roofless double decker bus trip. We journeyed around the city for about an hour on the bus and took in all the sights. It was just fantastic. It seemed a rather cheesy thing to want to do at first but I am well glad I did it. You tend to have to walk a lot in Hongas and sitting on the bus was a refreshing change, and a really exciting way to see the city. You even have to duck in some areas if you are standing up as some of the neons signs are really low lying and could easily scon you on the forehead.

So all in all, a fine four-day weekend - and for only 50,000yen ($550) for all meals, accomodation, airfare and guided tours! Just ace. But just one word of advice: don't drink the water or you will get Hong Kong Bog (similar to Deli Belly but not as spicy).

Keikyu Proles

What does the Eye command my lord? Build me an army worthy of Keikyu. An army so great such that we may cover all of JR in a second darkness. There shall be no dawn for the world of JR.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a Prole - a member of the Keikyu Railway Proletariat. A mixed bunch we are, spilling recklessly from the ticket gates in search of mayhem and chaos. Our mission is three-fold: Proliferate, Permeate, Problemate. Our target: The Bourgeois passengers of the East Japan Railway company.

For years we have waged war at our enemy's gates at Shinagawa station, ever charging into battle down the stairs, striking head-on into the masses of dazed commuters caught unawares in the hypnotic throb of peak hour. Surprise attacks are our strength - hitting our enemy hard from blind corners, and we have a distinct height advantage from our elevated position at the top of the stairs.

But not all is good. What we have in skill and tactics is overshadowed by sheer lack of numbers. We have a mere three platforms supplying us with fresh troops and our local trains come but once every ten minutes. We do get some relief with our twelve-carriage express trains but they are forever infrequent and often delayed, leaving our soldiers weak and wiery on the battlefield. JR's supply of troops seems inexhaustable. Forever they march forth in great numbers supplied by their fourteen platforms. They come on locals trains, expresses, rapids, double-decker commuter rapids, not to mention the Yamanote line that comes once every two minutes (in both directions) during peak hour. And then there's the beast - the one they awoke in the dark, both shadow and flame - the Tokaido Line. Enraged from the claustrophobic journey from Yokohama, the troops spill forth aggressively in search of an enemy to destroy. Only death can tame the madness of these creatures.

Today however, is our day. Our fortune has shifted - the Earth beneath us has shaken, paralyzing their train system bringing their campaign to a sudden halt. Now is the time to attack. We must hit them hard and at once. We have gathered all our strength and now we go into final battle. We lay ourselves in fortune's hands as we march forth, either to our ultimate death or our ultimate victory.